FROM THE HEART OF PETER is a blog devotional series I wrote a few years ago. Although the insights are not absolutes, they present possible thoughts and actions of Peter throughout scripture. Enjoy the journey. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart.
FROM THE HEART OF PETER - Part 1 HOPELESSNESS
Author - Carla McDougal
Based on Luke 22:54-62; John 18:15-27; Mark 14:66-72
"While he was speaking… The rooster crowed. Jesus turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered Jesus’ words – 'Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.' Peter went out and wept bitterly." -Luke 22:60-62 (NKJV)
The dwindling fire resembles the dying passion in my heart. What once was a blaze of glory, now mirrors only embers of guilt and shame. Jesus’ words echo in my mind. This pain is almost too much for me to bear. Images of the past three years play over and over in my head. I don’t understand. It doesn’t make sense. Why would Jesus leave us? Why did I deny knowing Him? Nothing makes sense anymore. We can’t go on without Him–Our leader, Our master, Our teacher. I should have listened more intently when He was with us?
But… I DENIED HIM… not once or twice, but three times.
This silence feels like torture. Confusion clouds my thoughts. God, help me understand. I don’t know what to do. If only I had another chance to touch His robe and plead for His forgiveness.
Again, the vision of Jesus’ face appears, yet like a vapor, it vanishes. I recall His lectures by the Sea of Galilee, His miraculous miracles, and even the moment He walked on water. How could I forget the time He looked into the depths of my soul and said, “You are Peter, and on this Rock I will build My church.”
In the stillness, I wipe my eyes, take a deep breath, and let out a sigh, Well, I guess that part of my life is over. Where do I go from here?”
All of a sudden, the sound of waves crashing on the shoreline catches my attention. A thought rushes in, “I still have my boat and my fishing equipment. I guess it’s back to the life of a fisherman.
Grabbing a handful of dirt, I toss it over the coals to quench the fire… a true reflection of my once burning passion to serve Jesus now smothered by guilt, shame, and regret.
Forever defeated, or so I thought.
LIFE CHALLENGE – Are you living in defeat? Do you live with regret? Have you rejected knowing Jesus… maybe not verbally, but with your actions or your silence? Are you still weeping over your sin? If you are a believer in Jesus, you are forgiven for past, present, and future transgressions. As you repent, trust that you are forgiven. Then walk forward in the power of the Holy Spirit.